Mother And Baby India

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Skin so soft…

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The colder months tend to play havoc with your infant’s tender skin. Swati Chopra Vikamsey lets you in on winter skin-care tips for your baby.

While you pile up the quilts and overwork the heaters, do you constantly worry about how to keep your little bundle of joy safe? Your baby’s skin is delicate, and this season is not kind. The extra layers of clothes does not help either. “Winter affects baby’s skin as much as it does an adult’s. But, since baby’s skin is thinner, more sensitive and vulnerable, it needs extra care and precaution,” says Dr Chiranjiv Chhabra, dermatologist, Skin Alive Clinics, Delhi.

WHY WORRY
Winter dryness may cause the skin to become scaly or lead to diaper rashes. “It can also cause frost bites on fingers and toes and chapped lips and cheeks,” says Dr Chhabra. “It is important to protect the baby’s skin in the harsh winter months because it is much more sensitive than an adult’s skin, and dryness and rashes appear more easily on baby’s skin—the protective covering of the body. A breech in this protective barrier can also predispose your baby to super-added infections if not kept under check,” adds Dr (Maj) Manish Mannan, consultant and coordinator, Paediatrics and Neonatology, Paras Hospitals.

Baby skin is thinner and more sensitive, says Dr Chhabra. “The use of heaters inside homes also causes the air to dry out and saps moisture from the environment in which the child stays.”

If the child has already underlying skin issues, they may also get aggravated during the colder months. Cradle cap or dandruff, for example, may become more severe during winter. “Contrary to the popular belief that baby’s hair needs to be oiled regularly, it is recommended that hair should be kept dry and clean in order to avoid cradle cap,” says Dr Mannan. “I generally advice oiling the hair for 30 minutes before a bath, and a good shampoo after that. Hair should be kept oil-free after the shampoo.”

TAKE CARE
Mothers should remember that babies feel a little more cold than adults and hence the heat loss from the skin is more rapid, hence adequate clothing is necessary. “Adequate clothing means multiple (generally three) layers and not just one thick cloth. Also, remember that over clothing the baby is harmful. Apart from causing rashes, additional clothes may also cause fever,” says Dr Mannan, and warns against traditional home remedies too. “We do not recommend using mustard oil on baby’s skin as it may cause the delicate skin to break out. Almond oil can be used for massage if it suits the skin of the baby. Ghee may be applied on dry lips, but ensure that it does not get inside the mouth of the baby. Always use an oil which suits your baby’s skin,” he says and suggests that gentle application is as important as the product.

Of course, what you apply on baby’s skin is of prime importance. “You cannot apply any cosmetic product or moisturiser recommended for adult usage. Only use products that are formulated for babies and contain mild ingredients,” suggests Dr Chhabra. He advices that in case of severely dry and dehydrated skin, emollients like Atogla cream or Evion cream can be used. “Keep the baby covered as much as possible with her fingers and toes unexposed. Take her out under the sun for at least a few minutes every day. This helps fight infections and gives the baby her regular supply of vitamin D. Apply moisturiser every time you wash the baby, including between diaper changes.”

Always remember that despite all this care if you notice a rash, patch or allergy, immediately consult a doctor to check if it is something serious. M&B

The expert opinion
DR MANNAN SUGGESTS THE FOLLOWING DOS AND DON’TS TO KEEP HER SKIN BABY-SOFT
• Cover your baby well to avoid heat loss, but at the same time, do not over cover. A good rule of thumb would be to clothe the baby in as many layers as the mum would need to keep warm, and then, add an extra layer.
• Before putting on woolens, make sure that the baby is wearing a soft layer of clothing inside, since direct contact with wool can cause rashes.
• Use a good moisturising cream that suits baby’s skin, especially after a bath.
• Bathe the baby with caution. You need to bathe her only twice a week in harsh winters.
• Baby’s skin has natural oils and the use of harsh soaps and repeated bathing in soapy water can cause the skin to dry. Water should be warm and not hot to avoid further dryness.
• Massage your baby two to three times a day with an oil that suits her skin. Keep the room warm while giving her a massage.
• Be very careful with diapers. Change them often because dirty diapers can cause a bad rash. When cleaning the diaper area, avoid wipes in the first few months and gently dab with cotton dipped in warm water.

 

Being mommy

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MBUPDATES3For Sharon and Dhruva, nothing compares to the joy of being parents to baby Danish. As this mum takes us through her journey of motherhood, she tells us how their eight-month-old cherub has made their life perfect.

Words Sahana Bhandari
Visuals Akshay Kulkarni
Hair & Makeup Sachin Ghate
Shoot coordination Swati Chopra Vikamsey

Currently basking in the joy of motherhood, our this month’s cover mumfast learning the ropes of motherhood. Describing her life Sharon Sheth (25), a former air hostess with Go Air feels that life couldn’t get any better. She met Dhruva in 2009 through a common friend. “Because of our friend we knew each other only as aquaintance. We knew about each other’s profession, family background, personalities etc. Gradually, we started meeting a lot and liking each other. After two years of courtship we decided totie the knot.” Described as the most joyous day of their lives, their marriage took place on January 22, 2013.

BABY TALK
As Sharon begins the baby talk, she says, “Because of our age difference, we planned to have a baby soon. When I first got pregnant, I had a miscarriage in my third month. I was heart broken but my family and husband took care of me during my emotional fall. Only two moths later, I got the good news. At that point, my joy knew no bound. This time, I decided to be extra careful about taking care of myself and the baby.” Her first five months were a challenge. Due to a weak placenta, she suffered occasional bleeding during those months. “I would always be in panic mode. I was even admitted to the hospital for two days in the fourth month for the same reason. However, from the sixth month onwards, things went smooth and my baby and I were in pink of our health,” she recalls.

Like most babies Danish shares a special bond with his Daddy. It goes way back during her pregnancy. “Every time Dhruva would touch the bump and talk, baby moved. Once when Dhruva left for Pune for two days for work, I realised that there was no movement of my baby. I thought of making the baby hear Dhruva’s recorded voice. Believe me, I could instantly sense his movement in my tummy. I called Dhruva and told him about this. He had planned to reach home next day, but to my surprise, arrived on the same night,” she smiles.

Reminiscing the most memorable moment of pregnancy, she says, “It was when we heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. Both of us were very nervous and wanted everything to turnout alright. The moment we heard Danish’s heartbeat, we saw each other and tears rolled down our eyes. We couldn’t take our eyes off that beautiful image of our baby. Deep inside I knew I couldn’t wait any longer to see my baby.”

Sharon further talks about how Dhruva was her support system throughout her journey. “My husband was more than my back bone. He would eagerly wait for the days when tests would be done to check the baby’s progress. He was extremely involved, and asked the doctor about baby’s development and care.

“I was very eager to buy all the stuff for the baby but according to our tradition we are not allowed to purchase anything for the baby before his arrival. However, I visited many baby stores and made a list of all that I wanted to buy,” she says.

HERE HE COMES!
Remembering her delivery date – March 13, 2014, she says, “It was a beautiful evening and I wanted to go to 5spice for lemon tea and spicy chicken rice. As I entered the restaurant, I started experiencing slight pain but I ignored it as I was too tempted to devour my dinner. I continued eating while the pain became more intense. At around 10:30 pm we knew it was time. By midnight, I was admitted to the hospital. At that point my labour pain was beyond my tolerance level. I was getting too nervous about my delivery. But deep inside, I knew that all that pain was worth just to see my baby’s face.”

For the next seven hours as the pain kept getting worse, Sharon decided to get the sonography done to check on the baby’s status. “The doctor suggested a C- section procedure as umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck. At around 3:47 am, I heard Danish’s first cry. I was a mother,” smiles Sharon.

“He was fair and weighed eight pounds. I just hugged him and said ‘welcome to this beautiful word darling’.

His naming ceremony was held on the sixth day after his birth. We decided to name him according to his zodiac sign. Initially, we wanted to name him Danial but then we decided to opt for Danish. It means ‘The God who gives’. It also means ‘knowledge and wisdom’.

LIFE WITH THE BABY
Once Sharon was back home, being the first time mum took a toll on her. But her family helped her cope. “I’m so thankful to my sisters-in-law Brinda and Hema who took care of me as well as my baby. Dhruv was helpful too. He was always there to take charge of the baby,” she says.

Describing Danish’s Sharon says, “He gets cranky when he’s hungry and sleepy. Otherwise, he is very calm, joyful and comfortable with new people.”

The doting mother feels that her baby takes after his father, and even tries to ape him sometimes! She also adds that Danish is fond of his parents and maternal grandfather.

As for her baby’s milestones, Sharon says, “He has just started rolling and crawling. He also recognizes me now. He looks at me and smiles too. He does this funny thing when I am feeding him solids. He tends to throw food and every time I say ‘No, Danny,’ he starts rubbing food on his head. He and I are yet to achieve many more developmental milestones though. I can’t wait for his first step and his first word!”

We asked if mommyhood has brought any changes in her life and pat comes the reply, “I’m not a perfect mother. But as I care for my baby day after day, I’m pretty sure, I will be one day!” Another important lesson that Sharon has learned is resilience. “I used to be a short tempered person but now I have become more patient and calm. However, I miss spending time with Dhruva,” she adds. M&B

MIDNIGHT MEALS
I had severe craving for spicy food and mango pulp

DANISH’S WISHLIST
Khichdi Curd Curry Rice

PLAYTIME FAVOURITES
Dancing Bunny Elephant (soft toy) Tv remote Colourful balls Electric car

“He has just started rolling and crawling. He also recognizes me now. He looks at me and smiles too. He and I are yet to achieve many more developmental milestones though. I can’t wait for his first step and his first word! ’

 

On infertile ground

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In nearly 30 per cent of all infertility cases, the cause is attributed to a problem in the male. M&B takes a closer look at male infertility, its implications and the promise of a solution.

Words Poornima Kartik Iyer


NOT WHAT I EXPECTED
For Pramod Prabhakaran, 34, life seemed blissful. He was happily married, a successful entrepreneur and enjoyed life to the fullest. After three years of unprotected sexual intercourse, he never once suspected that something was amiss. “We weren’t thinking about having a baby so we took it as a positive sign,” he says. When the couple entered their fourth year of marriage, they decided to take the plunge.

He continues, “We visited a gynecologist who advised us to undergo some tests. My wife’s reports were in proper order, but my sperm analysis showed that I had oligozoospermia, which meant that I had a low concentration of sperm in my semen. We were immediately referred to a urologist so we could be advised on how to proceed further.”

FEELING AT LOSS
For Pramod, his world had turned upside down. “I knew it wasn’t my fault but I still couldn’t help feeling sad about my situation. I felt like I was incomplete in some way. I felt defeated as if I had disappointed myself and my wife. I decided to meet the urologist alone,” he says. The gynaec had prescribed some medicines to Pramod which he had been taking. “When the urologist checked the prescription, he got upset. He told me to immediately discontinue those meds and go for a retest 15 days later. I was worried but he assured me that sometimes collecting the semen sample and submitting it on time are major criteria for test accuracy. So there might be a chance of improvement in the second test,” he recalls.

After a week of abstinence, Pramod went for a retest. The results were similar to the previous reports. It still showed low sperm count and low motility. “Thankfully my doctor was hopeful. He prescribed medicines for two months and asked me to quit smoking. I would have to do the test again after two months. That’s when the pressure started building up. Giving a sperm sample can be extremely stressful. I would have to collect the semen and then rush to the lab within a few minutes. I would always be worried about traffi c and check the time frequently,” he admits.

LEARNING TO ACCEPT
After two months, there was no improvement in the reports. The medicines were changed and Pramod was asked to go for a retest after one month. “Things were not improving. I felt guilty. All these years we didn’t care, and just when we wanted a baby, things were looking bad for us. Finally, after a month when we went back to the doctor, he told us that I wasn’t responding to medication. He advised me to freeze my sperm for future use as my sperm level would go down further as years passed. He suggested we go in for a fertility treatment—Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). My wife was very supportive during that period. She asked the doctor if my sperm was healthy and he replied in the affi rmative. She assured me then there was nothing to worry about. I still blamed myself because in spite of not having a problem she would have to go through an IVF procedure because of me. But my wife was confi dent that this was our best chance and we were in this together,” he explains. The couple is expecting twins now.

Dr Ashok Bapat runs the Bapat Urology Centre in Thane, is a renowned urologist, practicing for three decades. He says that there is a natural tendency in males to not accept a fault with themselves. “The moment there is an infertility problem, the couple rushed to the gynaec. Only after it is confi rmed that there is no problem with the woman that the man agrees to get himself tested,” he explains. To be clearer, he gives the example of King Dasharatha from Ramayana, who first married Kaushalya. When she was unable to conceive, he married Sumitra, who also could not bear a child and lastly, he wed Kaikeyi with the the same result.

“Finally, wise sages explained to him that the problem was with him and not the women. Dasharatha was advised to perform a Putrakameshti Yajna. The issue of male infertility has been around since ancient times and even the Mahabharata has examples. Dr Bapat stresses on the importance of an awareness of male infertility. “I explain to my patients that a man and woman are needed to produce a child. So if a spouse is detected with a problem, they have to accept and treat it,” he says. There are so many children who are born blind, deaf and mute. They learn to accept it and move on in life. So like that, you need to accept the problem,” he says.

SEEKING HELP
According to Dr Bapat, there are hardly any noticeable symptoms of male infertility. “Once the tests are done, we will know the problem and it can be corrected. The sooner the infertility is detected, the better. Women have an ovulation cycle every month but men go through sperm production only once every three months. If the medicines are given today then its effect on the male testis, that produces sperm, will be seen only after three months,” he says. When it comes to the causes of male infertility Dr Bapat points towards unhealthy lifestyle. “I meet many patients from the software industry. Radiation through excessive laptop and mobile use can lead to infertility,” he reveals. “Those who are working night shifts come home late and don’t have time for sex. Today, six percent of the population is infertile. Between the ages 15 to 45 which is the normal reproductive life of a couple. Out of that 30 per cent are males,” he adds. The doctor suggests that men and women should get themselves examined if they do suspect infertility. M&B

” I explain to my patients that a man and woman are need to produce a child. So if a spouse is detected with a problem, they have to accept and treat it “
CAUSES OF INFERTILITY
• Drugs are primarily responsible for low libido and infertility – especially psychiatric, depression, blood pressure and diabetic drugs.
• Mumps is rare at present but it affects the salivary glands, pancreas and can also affect the testes.
• There is obstructive and nonobstructive infertility:
• Physical obstruction is when sperms are not allowed to come in the semen.
• Non-obstructive is when the sperm quantity is very low.
• Varicocele is an enlargement of the veins within the scrotum that affects the temperature of sperm.
• Excessive smoking, drinking and chewing of tobacco.
• Radiation through electronic gadgets such as laptops and cell phones.
• Accidental injury to the groin.

DIAGNOSIS
• Primarily, semen analysis shows you how many sperm are present and how many are motile. Motility has to be beyond 50 percent.
• Sixty to 120 million sperm was considered normal but now if there is 20 million, pregnancy is possible.

TREATMENT
• Treatment is based according to severity and reasoning.
• If there is low sperm count, medication is given to increase the sperm.
• It is varicolele then, it is treated surgically.
• If there is an obstruction spermatozoa, an operation is done to remove the obstruction.
• Today, there is the advantage of assisted reproductive technology. If medication is not effective, then based on the doctor’s advice, the couple can opt for artifi cial insemination, in vitro fertilization or surrogacy.

 

Weaning food: packaged or homemade?

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MBUPDATES2There’s a flood of variety in the baby food segment and many mums are sighing with relief. The option of ready-made weaning food means an end to all the mashing and grinding at home to make swallowing an easy task. But is packaged baby food as good as the homemade option? We asked around for some opinions…

Words Subarna Ghosh
Illustrations Ajay Paradkar

Preeti Khare

Homemaker and mum to Srishti, 14 months Indians are traditional when it comes to baby food. But when I travelled abroad I saw that parents of even very young children were buying bottled baby food. I was overloaded with work in the new place and found it really tedious to cook and grind food so thought about giving this a try. I was so happy to find that the pureed apple was of the perfect consistency for my baby who was only over six months at that time! In fact, it was smoother and tastier than anything that I would have made at home.

I used to feel a little guilty about it but the doctors in the US did not think that buying or making made any difference in the nutritive value and advised that if my baby likes the taste, I can go ahead. We used to travel and go out a lot and carrying food in the packaged form was a convenience I could not have survived without. I have seen women take out a whole stack of boxes and spoons and bibs from a huge baby bag to feed a baby. But that looks such a mess and I don’t think that one should make such a big fuss over baby food.

Sanjana Gore
House-maid, 12 weeks pregnant and mum to Rahul, 12 months I would want to give baby food bought from the big shops since that is where the rich people buy their stuff from. I am sure there must be some extra benefits in the bottled food since those kids are so much stronger. My boy catches a cold so easily. He loves Parle G biscuits dipped in milk and sometimes also sips my tea. I make him sit with pieces of chapati and puffed rice when I am busy in the kitchen. Earlier I used to make nachni porridge for him but if I could afford to buy the readymade food, then I could have saved myself some trouble. When my second baby arrives, I don’t think I will be buying readymade food. My elder one has started eating what I cook at home and if things go well, so will my second one, by the time he turns one.

Dr Ravindra Chittal Paediatrician
If not correctly guided, mothers can go wrong with the sequence, proportions or quantity of semi-solid foods. Add to this, the risk of unhygienic cooking and storing of baby food and weaning can go off gear. Advantage of home-cooked weaning foods, however, is the freshness and variety as well as easy transition to home food later on, and its low cost. The weaning foods available in the market follow the gut physiology and hence would be conducive to optimum growth in terms of macro and micro-nutrients. Addition of omega fats, iodine, iron and nucleic acids ensure protective values are added. But they do not contain any preservatives and hence tend to get contaminated if not stored properly since Mumbai is a humid place. Children also get bored with the same flavour being repeated till the tin is over! Ready-to-use weaning foods are convenient while travelling and for working mothers but homecooked weaning foods are good for all.

Ritika Singha
Homemaker and mum to Neelabh, nine months I can’t even imagine how one can trust some packed and branded product to provide hygiene and nutrition to their baby! And if there are preservatives added, then it can harm the infant to a great extent. I have seen baby food like mashed spinach, chicken casseroles or pureed fruits on the shelves of the baby store from where I pick up my baby’s clothes. But they are all manufactured abroad and then imported to India. Firstly, these are so highly priced that I do not know why I would even want to buy them. Also, the thought they must have been made months back and then marketed makes me feel uncomfortable. And most importantly, I would never ever want to test a new food product on my son. He loves to eat the simple moong dal khichdi that I make along with boiled carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, peas and whatever seasonal vegetable that’s handy. I believe that the nutrition that this homemade preparation can give him, no other packaged product can. Dr Alka Fernandez

Paediatrician
Living in India comes with its own set of advantages for parents. The most significant part of our culture is the way the grandparents and domestic help form a network of support. In spite of all this, there’s no reason for us to resort to means that can pose a potential hazard in the future. Even if parents are working, there’s always someone to help in managing the baby’s food preparation at home. Food is a lifelong habit and introducing the taste of home-cooked food will be an advantage when one is trying to establish a proper eating pattern in the child. When you prepare weaning food at home you can be sure that there are no preservatives, no colours and no salt and sugar added. Also the fact that you have washed and cleaned the veggies in your own kitchen gives the peace of mind that the food prepared is clean. One must keep in mind that packaged food is prepared much before it reaches the shelf and even if you use it once, the rest needs to be stored properly. M&B

Joyat first sight!

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You may recognise her as Gohar Jaan from the Marathi movie Balgandharva or as ‘Mastani’ in the award wining serial Shrimant Peshwa Bajirao Mastani but when we met Prachiti Mhatre, she was just another mum giving her best to her seven month old son Kaivalya. Currently employed as the vice principal of Little Angels Eco-school, she shares her motherhood story and the joy that it has brought in her life.

Words Sahana Bhandari
Visuals Ryan Martis
Hair & Make-up Recinda Martis

A preschool educator, a model, an actress, and now a mother, Prachiti Mhatre loves to play different roles. She grew up with a passion for music (systematic training in classical music) and swimming (district champion swimmer). She has completed a course in education management and has specialised in early childhood care and education with her apprenticeship in Singhania School where she was a student. Then she worked as pre-school supervisor in Godrej’s Udayachal School.

Prachiti met her husband Aditya, who works in the IT industry, in college. “We were very good friends throughout college before we knew that we were meant to be married. Our courtship lasted for almost eight years. We got married in December 2007,” she says.

Post marriage, Prachiti settled in Panvel and started working at the Little Angels Eco-school with her mother-in-law Varsha Mhatre, but destiny had planned something else for her. In 2009, Prachiti met photographer Gautam Rajadyaksha who asked her if she was interested in working in ads. They did her photo shoot together and he also helped her to get through in the glamour world. She appeared in ads like ICICI Bank home loan, Thomas Cook, Tiger Biscuits (with Salman Khan) etc.

“I had never trained in acting nor attended any acting workshops then. Still I sent my photographs to Nitin Desai when I learned that he was taking auditions for one of his historical projects. After a few auditions, I bagged Mastani’s role in the Marathi serial Shrimant Peshwa Bajirao Mastani,” recalls the soft spoken actress who took horse riding, sword fi ghting and Kathak dance lessons for this role.

HAPPY NEWS ARRIVES
It was in the fifth year of their marriage that Prachiti and Aditya thought of having a baby. “It was after fi ve years of our marriage, and we thought of taking our relationship step further by bringing a baby into our lives. Luckily, it was not a long wait for us. On May 6, 2013, I took a home pregnancy test and realised that I was pregnant. The same day I went to my gynecologist Dr Shobhana Palekar, who confi rmed the good news.”

And how did she convey this news to Aditya? “We have taken trips to many places over the five years and had collected souvenirs for our baby then. So I displayed all of them with a small note that said, ‘Hello Baba’. As Aditya entered the room, he was thrilled to see the note. After a few days both of us shared the news with our parents who were equally excited and happy for us,” says Prachiti.

THE NINE MONTH WAIT
Prachiti says that she thoroughly enjoyed every minute of her pregnancy. “The first trimester was exciting. The experiences and feelings were all new. I did not experience much nausea and morning sickness except for a little in the third month. I generally enjoy non-vegetarian meals but during my first month I felt like eating simple Maharashtrian vegetarian food. I became a rice lover in those months. Varan Bhaat Toop was my favourite and I could eat loads of it. I used to eagerly wait for the sonography appointments to catch a glimpse of my baby. Like every new mother, I had also started reading about pregnancy and was excited about bringing my baby home,” she says. Her second trimester was fi lled with more amazing experiences. “My body was undergoing so many changes. I felt tired and hence, began sleeping a lot. I felt hungry more often. I was putting on weight but was feeling happy about it. It also called for shopping for some new clothes. I was told by my family and friends that I was glowing. I started feeling my baby’s movements, kicks and turns,” she says.

As days passed, Prachiti could feel that her baby’s movements were stronger and much more visible. She says, “I started connecting with my baby. My routine began with meditation and listening to chants in the morning and then going to work after breakfast. As I work at our family -owned preschool, I had a lot of fl exibility in choosing my hours and days of work. Everyone at home, my husband and in-laws took care of me and pampered me too. They are ones who are responsible for my calm and stress-free demeanour during the pregnancy.”

Prachiti’s third trimester began with her in-laws planning a lovely baby shower. “I had a great time at the baby shower. The ladies kept guessing if it would be a girl or a boy and most of them thought it would be a girl though a small voice inside me said that I was going to have a son. My baby’s movements had become a part of my routine now. I had started conversing with my little one. I would tell him about the things around and how we would soon meet him. Sometimes, I would also sing to him or play music etc. But there were some days when I used to be worried about not being prepared for my baby,” she states. In the beginning of the ninth month Prachiti went to her mum’s place for delivery. Since her placenta was low, her doctors advised her to go for an elective C-section.

WELCOMING JOY
She was expected to deliver on December 25, 2013. “I was admitted in Bethany hospital at Thane a night before. That night, I was not able to sleep well. I was anxious, happy, excited and a little nervous about the operation. Dr Chandavarkar was extremely assuring. That morning my family wished me luck and I was taken to the OT. At 1:15pm, Dr Chandavarkar said ‘Here he comes’ and I saw Kaivalya coming out of my belly. I heard his first cry and I smiled. I was so happy that he arrived safely and was healthy. Soon he was brought near me. My fi rst words were, ‘Hi, I love you’ followed by a kiss.” As Prachiti recalls her newborn, she remembers that he looked just perfect.

Talking about her son’s first meeting with his daddy, she says, “Aditya was overwhelmed with joy and kept taking countless pictures. I got teary when I saw my husband and my baby together. Both set of parents were excited to see Kaivalya. It was the most joyous family moment ever. Later that day, close relatives kept coming to see our new family member. Tired but extremely satisfi ed, I simply kept looking at my little one throughout the day.”

“I was pretty impressed with Aditya’s daddy skills. He did everything from changing the baby’s nappy, swaddling him, holding him etc,” she says as she praises her handson husband. It was on the second day that Prachiti got to hold Kaivalya. “I felt an immense joy and didn’t even feel like putting him down. We tried breastfeeding that evening, it was very painful at first. However, the nurses, my husband and my aunt helped Kaivalya and me to position ourselves for the perfect latch. By the fourth day, we had learnt the art and I was able to breastfeed without help,” she says.

She adds, “After Kaivalya’s birth, what surprised me was how much I needed my parents again, especially my mother. She took extremely good care of me. My husband and my father were also there to help with anything that I needed. As a result, I was able to focus my attention and energy on my new role as a mum.”

LIFE WITH BABY
The fi rst month after birth was a learning phase for Prachiti where both mother and baby were learning to understand each other. She says, “I was getting to know about what comforts him, what makes him cry, his feeding and sleeping pattern etc. I learned to let go of the many things I felt I needed to control. I knew my life would change when I became a mother but I didn’t know that most of my planning was basically pointless because the baby dictates how things will go. He would stay up all night to play and sleep during the day or sometimes the other way round. Embracing the ‘go-with-the-flow attitude’ and trying not to predict and plan everything was liberating. I was happier being flexible rather than stressing when something didn’t go as planned. By the end of the month, I was surprised with the way I was handling him and I started working on my instincts.”

On the 12th day her son was named Kaivalya. She explains that the name Kaivalya is mentioned in the Upanishad as the very nature of self, the supreme state  (parampadam). Kaivalya is the ultimate goal of yoga and means solitude or detachment. It is one of the synonyms of Moksha, Apavarga, Nirvana and Yogaksema

Back home after a month, she was fortunate to have her in-laws to help her. “I am grateful for their support especially my mum-in-law, who took care of everything. Thanks to them, I could and still can devote my whole time and attention to nurturing my baby,” she states. Talking about the developing mother-son bond, she says, “After a month, Kaivalya and I became comfortable with each other. I had never thought that cleaning someone’s pee and poo would be so much fun. While breastfeeding I could feel an incredible bond towards him. I never knew that I had a huge capacity to love another person until I met my son. The feeling is quite overwhelming.”

But, like many mothers, Prachiti also began her journey into motherhood with a lot of prejudice. “I had heard many stories  of lack of sleep, no time for friends, messy diapers and the temper tantrums, but it really wasn’t that stressful. I think that babies react to your energy so if you’re happy, relaxed and calm, then your baby will be too. What surprised me most about parenting was that it brought my husband and me closer. Everyone had told me to prepare for not having time for ourselves and for our relationship after the baby. I was worried that somehow the lack of sleep and similar stressors would be a challenge to our relationship. And while in some ways that can be true, I have found that co-parenting has made us an even greater team. We share responsibilities, collaborate on problem solving, celebrate each other’s achievements, and talk about the amazing love we share for our son. I’d say we’re closer now than ever,” she states.

Prachiti’happiness and excitement. Prachiti’s life with Kaivalya is full of happiness and excitement. Describing some of his qualities and latest developments, she says, “He is a very happy child. Playful and friendly, he likes being held and talked to. He enjoys when people narrate stories to him. Kaivalya recognizes me very well now. He is also very comfortable around familiar faces like his father and grandparents. He tries making so many sounds and is constantly cooing and babbling when awake. He likes to observe his surroundings and has recently started reaching out and holding things. He has now started giggling too and is getting naughtier day by day.”

The mother-son duo share a common love for music. “He likes being sung to. He also tries to sing along and make rhyming sounds when people sing to him,” shares Prachiti. She further adds, “I love the way he smiles, when he wakes up in the morning and sometimes even in the middle of feeding. The way he looks into my eyes and smiles, when he holds my fingers, touches my face…that moment of love that we share is incomparable. Each of his developments or something new that he tries to do gives me a sense of achievement and keeps me going. Whenever I’m with my little guy, I’m constantly talking, singing, and making goofy faces and sounds. It’s hard to say which one of us enjoys it more!”

Sharing her thoughts on motherhood,Prachiti says, “I have realised how much the birth of one child means to my family and friends. That being a mum is not just a gift for me but a gift that I share and others celebrate with me. Motherhood according to me is the supreme state of happiness and satisfaction and there is just nothing beyond it.” M&B

THE CROISSANT STORY
It was around my second trimester that I developed a huge craving for chocolate croissant from JW Marriot, Pune. I remember, it was during Ganeshotsav that I developed this craving. Since we celebrate the Ganesh festival at home, I wasn’t supposed to eat it as it contained eggs. So, I tried having various desserts and sweets but nothing could satisfy my craving which got stronger by the day. After a week when the Ganesh festival was over, my aunt who lives in Pune arranged to send the chocolate croissants from the hotel. And when I took the fi rst bite of the croissant, the only thing that I said was ‘ummm’. My baby kicked after I finished eating a whole croissant!

BABY’S FIRST VISIBLE MOVE
I felt it one night when my husband and I were watching a movie about magic. Suddenly, I experienced something magical inside me. It was as though somebody was massaging and pinching me from inside. It felt weird and I got a little scared. I told Aditya and suddenly, both of us noticed my stomach protruding towards one side. Then I realised that the baby was pushing up from inside. After some time, both of us burst out laughing.

Here comes the airplane…

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…and all the other things you’ve tried to get your fussy toddler to eat his meals. M&B gets the child experts to help you manage your munchkin’s munchtime better

Words Poornima Nair
Visuals Akshay Kulkarni
Model Nishchal Awatramani

Are you having trouble feeding your toddler? You painstakingly prepare the ideal meal, with the right amount of veggies on a plate, try to get him to taste healthy food, but he’s just not interested. The more you try, the more irritated he gets and when you adamantly feed him, the food ends up on the floor. You are trying hard to keep your cool, but it’s your child who is now throwing a fit… she wants that yummy McBurger for lunch and won’t stand for anything else. Poor mum, what do you do? We asked two child experts to help you out. Dr Rahul Verma is consultant neonatologist and paediatrician at the Bombay Hospital and child psychiatrist Dr Pervin Dadachanji is author of Recipes for Parenting: A guide to parents of 6 to 12-year-olds.

WHAT IS HEALTHY FOOD?

RV: A balanced diet which would provide the recommended dietary allowance, rich in not only proteins, carbohydrates and fats but also in minerals and vitamins would be considered as healthy food. A skewed diet, with excess of one factor and a deficiency in others, is unhealthy. For example, rice, daal, chapati and vegetables form a healthy portion, while only potatoes or bread and cheese may be considered unhealthy.

PD: Healthy food is what gives your child all the nutrients the body requires. That is, all the six food groups: carbs, proteins, fats, minerals, vitamins and water. According to me, this balanced diet should not be gauged on a daily basis with children, but on a weekly or perhaps even a monthly basis.

WHY ARE FOOD HABITS CHANGING?
RV: Due to a disappearing extended family and absence of grandparents, there is a lacuna in knowledge of a conventional diet pattern for the children. Also, thanks to the double-income-single-kid (DISK) phenomenon, kids are getting more pampered. Tired parents give in to the concept of fast foods which are convenient and easily accessible. Absence of a fixed dinner time contributes to changing food habits too.

PD: There is more variety in foods which are available to all. The good old daal-chaawal, sabzi- roti have been taken over by pasta, pizza, falafel, burgers, etc. Parents are also more aware of different types of food, so they expose kids to these foods, which in turn makes the kids crave particular dishes all the time.

WHAT TO DO IF MY CHILD JUST WON’T TOUCH VEGGIES? OR THROWS A TANTRUM WHEN HE IS FORCIBLY FED?
RV: A child will not like vegetables if they don’t taste or look nice or the same stuff is offered to them often. Variety is the answer to this dilemma. Vegetables, when cooked well and not forced upon the child, may be better accepted. Also, if a child finishes his portion of vegetables, then a suitable reward may be offered to reinforce the task. Bribes, however, may not be acceptable.

PD: Veggies are the most overrated food ever. By all means, give him raw finger veggies like carrot or cucumber slices, etc. But fruits have ALL and more minerals and vitamins than our overcooked vegetables, so if your child loves fruit you can forget about the vegetables. If you still insist that he should eat veggies, disguising them in a paratha (such as a cauliflower-stuffed paratha) can also be tried out.

IS IT OKAY TO FORCE FEED MY CHILD!
Force feeding will introduce major power struggles and battles between child and parent. The key is to give your toddler more independence while she eats. Let her feed herself even if she messes up the floor and table. This makes her feel more in control. Give her small amounts of food so that she does not baulk at the quantity and then give her more after she finishes the initial amount. If she does not eat, take away the plate instead of shoving food down her throat or running after her and give the next meal when it is due. No in between crisps or biscuits. And always give food to a child when she is hungry.

HOW DO I INTRODUCE MY TODDLER TO THE GOOD STUFF?
RV: Offer variety and avoid force feeding. Instead, always take food in your plate and  watch your child come over inquisitively to taste it. Always offer food when your baby is hungry and, most importantly, avoid television when feeding your baby.

PD: Research has shown that a child has to be exposed to a new food 10 times before he even deigns to try it. So introduce a new food several times, offer it to your child and accept a no for an answer. She may decide to try it sometime. Also, give your child the option that if she does not like the new food she can spit it out. I tried this with my kids and it worked wonders. At least they would try some. Also, If a child sees her father relishing the spinach, she may attempt to have it but if she sees him avoiding it like the plague there is no way she would try it.

HOW CAN MY SPOUSE OR I PLAY A MORE ACTIVE ROLE?
RV: Most importantly, spend time with your child. Most parents come home after a tired day and expect their child to quietly sit down, polish off their plates and go to sleep. Doesn’t happen! Also if a baby is not hungry, force feeding will only make them bring the food up again or throw a temper tantrum. Parents need to be together at the dining table and make dinner time sacrosanct.

PD: By not force feeding and by not making an issue about food at the dining table. Meals should be enjoyable for everyone concerned.

WILL PHYSICAL ACTIVITY HELP HIM EAT BETTER?
RV: No specific exercise schedule is recommended. However, a child must be encouraged in his normal activity and play time. This will not only promote good health but also encourage normal development.

PD: All children need exercise. Usually, a toddler moves about a lot so gets his share of exercise. But going to the park to play every day is a good thing for little kids. Structured activity is not very necessary at this point. So there’s really no need for regimented classes or sporting activities. M&B

A study published in the US Paediatric Journal, found that food advertisements on cartoon channels directly influence children. These advertisements linked food with fun and happiness and were easily able to attract young minds, quickly turning them into consumers. So be warned; limit TV time!