Cover Mum

For 31-year-old adventurer, photographer and former French national Géraldine Sandhilya, the real excitement began when she married her Indian husband and had Leonie, their gorgeous Indo-French baby girl

BY CHARLENE FLANAGAN
PHOTOGRAPHS BY GÉRALDINE SANDHILYA

THEY say love happens quite unexpectedly. You accidentally stumble across that one person, and before you even realise what’s happened, you’ve fallen for them. The story of Géraldine and her dance-instructor husband, Praveen, is no different. After studying Travel and Tourism in Rouen, France, a young Géraldine was eager to explore the world, her trusty camera in hand. She found herself moving to the United States and Australia before making her way to India in 2010.

Quite unexpectedly, she fell in love with India and has lived here ever since. What cemented her decision to make this move permanent was meeting her husband at a Salsa dance party that was incidentally, hosted by her brother-inlaw. Of course, her adventures didn’t die down, particularly after she landed a job with Royal Enfi eld and biked her way around the country, committing her travels to memory in the form of photographs. However, in 2014 when Praveen and Géraldine decided to make their relationship official, she decided it was time that travel took a back seat.

LICENCE TO WED
Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and it usually takes a lot of hard work, compromise and understanding to make it a success. For Géraldine and Praveen, the decision to have a wedding which celebrated both cultures was undisputed by family and friends. “We’re both very attached to our origins, so our wedding was a mix of French and Indian traditions. Since I’m not religious and don’t practice any faith, we chose to exchange vows a little differently. Praveen is a Hindu, but his faith hasn’t really had any negative impact on our marital bliss. In fact, I quite love the happy spirit, colour and joyfulness of it,” says Géraldine.

And from then on, life couldn’t get better. The newlyweds had a blissful honeymoon period and when it was time to get back to the real world, they were a little reluctant. However, life happens and they soon threw themselves back into work—Géraldine pursued photography and Praveen went back to dance instruction. Soon, Géraldine realised that she wanted to pursue photography fulltime, and opened her very own studio out of her home in New Delhi called Géraldine Sandhilya Photography. It was then that she began her newest adventure, specialising in maternity, newborn and child photography.

BABY TALK
Watching mums with their babies on a daily basis, made Géraldine feel like, perhaps, there was something missing from her otherwise-perfect life. However, when she realised she was late, she got a little nervous. “I had my reasons to believe that I might be pregnant but when I found out that I was not, I was very disappointed,” she admits. That’s perhaps the moment she realised she was ready to start a family. “Since Praveen is eight years older than I am, he was ready for a baby long before I was. So, when I told him I was ready to try for one, he was excited. I’m glad I didn’t have to convince him one bit,” she tells us, excitedly.

After that, life couldn’t get better for the happy couple. They began trying and enjoyed their jobs tremendously, in the mean time. However, about five weeks into her pregnancy, Géraldine realised she was expecting. “I was so engrossed in work that I didn’t realise I was going to become a mother, until I was five weeks pregnant! When I told Praveen that we were going to be parents, his reaction was rather lukewarm. I was a little taken aback with his reaction because  I expected a little more enthusiasm from him, but he didn’t show any emotion,” recalls Géraldine.

“We were in France on holiday when we discovered I was pregnant. Because it was still early in the pregnancy, we didn’t want to say anything to anybody, and wanted to wait the standard three months before we broke the news. But since we were leaving in a few days,  and I didn’t think this was something that could be said over a phone call, we decided to tell my family and friends about it when I was just six weeks pregnant,” says Géraldine. She adds, “Of course, they didn’t believe me because Praveen and I love joking around, but after showing them the test, they were ecstatic! Somehow, though, Praveen was still very neutral to the news.”

When the couple finally got back to India, and they went for their first ultrasound, Praveen became a whole new person. “I think he was in shock and didn’t believe the news till we went for our first check-up. After he heard our baby’s heartbeat, his face lit up! I have never seen him so happy,” she says with a smile.

PREGNANCY BLISS
For Géraldine, the cultural gap began to show during the time she was expecting, something that added to her already difficult trimester. She experienced  a severe bout of morning sickness during her fi rst trimester, and kept herself busy to avoid thinking about the nausea. “Praveen, of course, encouraged me to stay home more, and relax. He didn’t understand my need to keep busy! He was extremely supportive and nurturing, but he didn’t realise I needed to work and stay active,” says Géraldine. That’s when the tension began to creep in. “It is not in my nature to be inactive. Moreover, I believe that pregnancy is not a disability or sickness. In Europe, doctors encourage pregnant women to stay active and behave normal. Of course, only a few things are not recommended, like carrying very heavy bags, or adventure sports like parachuting, skiing, or motorbiking. In fact, everything is permitted. You’re encouraged to do everything you’d normally do, and doctors even recommend a bit of exercise and physical activity till you reach full-term,” she says.

However, Indian families tend to be overprotective, and because of the differnce in opinions, Géraldine experienced a little tension. “It was difficult to explain to my in-laws that I needed to stay active. They were of the opinion that ‘one can’t be too careful’. With them, it was always ‘Don’t bend’ or ‘Don’t carry this’. I was constantly told what to eat and what I could or couldn’t do during my pregnancy. It did create a lot of stress and tension between us. But I knew my actions and behaviour wouldn’t harm my baby. What’s better than a mother’s instincts, right?”

But, the disagreements all seems trivial in the light of the bigger picture— Praveen and Géraldine were soon going to be parents, and nothing could really dampen their spirits. Moreover, Géraldine felt completely cared for, and loved by Praveen and the rest of the family. “After I decided that they only meant well, I didn’t really let the disagreements bother me. I knew my body best, and I did heed a little of their advice, if not all. But Praveen was incredible throughout. He’d give me massages when my feet or back would ache; he took me out a lot because he knew how much I loved to travel. He even encouraged me to pay my family a visit! I really couldn’t have been happier,” she says.

Before long, Géraldine had established a healthy routine. She read as much as she could and even enrolled in birthing classes to help her prepare for her delivery. “I didn’t know what to expect, so I tried to prepare myself mentally and physically for everything. I even had a doula that would come home before Leonie was born, to help me with some exercises which I could do at the time of delivery. Apart from this, I followed Baby Centre notifi cations regarding the evolution of my pregnancy,” she says.

For young mother Subah Bansal, a fashion designer, giving birth to her son Krishai, has turned her into the responsible individual she is today

BY CHARLENE FLANAGAN
HAIR & MAKE-UP BY SACHIN GHATE
PHOTOGRAPHS BY AKSHAY KULKARNI

EVER since 28-year-old Subah married the love of her life, Arpit, five years ago, her life has been a dream. Having married at a young age, Subah and Arpit have spent a great deal of time together, enjoy their married life, and getting to know each other before going the family way. “I believe that it’s important to spend quality time with your partner, because after you start a family, what I’ve noticed is that most couples lose themselves in the midst of raising children. When we married, I was 23 and Arpit was 25. This meant we had plenty of time together to enjoy our marriage before we could plan for a child,” says Subah.

THE BABY BOON
It wasn’t until after being married for five years that Subah felt she was ready to start a family. She was certain that Arpit would make a great father, especially after watching just how well he had cared for her these past few years. “We were too young to have a baby when we first married. We were practically kids ourselves. But as time passed, and we knew exactly what to expect of each other, we both decided it was time. After all, we wanted to be young parents. This way, we’d be able to keep up with our kids as they grew up. I know it can get quite tiresome, so we would need all the energy we could get,” she jokes.

When they both decided they were ready, Subah and Arpit began planning to conceive. “We were honestly surprised when we got pregnant because we didn’t expect to be successful after the first try. We figured we would have a little more time to prepare the house, and do everything necessary before we got pregnant, but we were ecstatic with the news and looked at it as a blessing. Besides, it made us take charge and prepare ourselves,” says Subah.

After the couple got pregnant, Subah saw a whole new side to her husband, something that made her appreciate having him in her life. “Arpit was an angel all throughout. For the entire time I was pregnant, he pampered me and gave me only the best. He took such incredible care of me that even if I had to sneeze, he’d worry that it was something serious. If I was restless in the nights, he’d be up with me, comforting me. When I experienced morning sickness during my fi rst trimester, Arpit was by my side holding me. He even went to such lengths as to instruct his family and hired help to be at my every beck and call. It was adorable. I really couldn’t ask for more,” Subah recalls with a broad smile.

Much like any fi rst-timer, Subah was very particular about what she ate, how active she was, and how she got around the city. “Since this was my first pregnancy, I didn’t really want to travel much. I was a little too precautious in that respect. Fortunately, my design studio is only a few houses away so travel was not so much of a concern, I didn’t want to take any chances with long distances so we skipped the whole babymoon  thing too. However, I did take care of my health and fitness, and joined a few antenatal classes on my doctor’s behest. She assured me it would lead to a smooth delivery.”

Former fashion-stylistturned- stay-at-home mum, Priya Kochhar, has taken to motherhood with the rather powerful outlook of going back to the basics when it comes to raising her beautiful daughter, Taarini

BY CHARLENE FLANAGAN
PHOTOGRAPHS BY ANEGA BAWA

RELATIONSHIPS are all about striking a balance and for parents Priya and Rajat Kochhar, there couldn’t be a more supportive and balanced dynamic they could have imagined. Their marriage is the perfect harmony of two individual personalities that absolutely shine through in each other. “Everyone calls us ‘the power couple’, and we totally believe it! I would like to believe that Rajat’s dynamism and my vivaciousness, somehow manage to create an impact on people everywhere we go,”  she admits.

In fact, it was these very personalities that made them fall for each other. “Rajat and I met in the mountains of Himachal, where I hail from. When we first met, he was there to set up a factory for his family business. Fate chose to bring us together, and right from the start, we got along famously. After a year of dating, our families met and and decided to get us married,” she gushes.

THE FAMILY WAY
When it came to starting a family, Priya was fortunate that Rajat had the same idea. “One day, Rajat said to me, ‘Let’s have a baby’ and I said, ‘Yes, let’s’. It was as simple as that. Usually in most marriages, it takes a lot of convincing when only one partner is ready to have a child. Usually, the husband is not ready and the wife has to explain and coax him into agreeing. And this is not an easy topic to convince anyone on; it could take months or even years before one of them relents. Thankfully, this was not the case with us and we both were on the same page at the same time,” she says with a broad smile.

Soon after they were in agreement, Priya began preparing her body for conception. “Since I knew that my husband wanted a child as much as I did, it really made me have a happy pregnancy. Once we decided that we wanted to go ahead with this, I started prepping my body by improving my diet and consulted a reputed and extremely loved gynecologist, Dr Urvashi Sehgal of Phoenix Hospital, Delhi, who prescribed some necessary vitamins and nutrients before I actually conceived.”

Priya was away at her parents’ house when she suspected that she might be expecting. “My period was delayed and since I didn’t have a home pregnancy kit, and wasn’t really keen on going out to get one, I put off confirming my suspicion till I got back to Delhi. I remember it was a Sunday when I got home and checked. My husband was at home and I told him immediately, although, I have to admit that I took the test three times before telling him that he was going to be a father!” she laughs. “Rajat and I were ecstatic. Of course, my mother-in-law rushed me to Dr Urvashi to get her to confirm the pregnancy.”

PREGNANCY & DELIVERY
Priya, being the fit and active person she is, had an absolutely smooth pregnancy. “My pregnancy was a breeze. This was my first pregnancy, and I have to admit I was nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. I had only heard stories of crazy nausea, vomiting, hospitalisation, water retention, swelling, back pain and what not! So I was expecting, at the very least, to experience some of it, if not all. I was a bit surprised when my pregnancy kept progressing without the appearance of any of these symptoms,” she says. If that was only all, Priya was clearly one of the lucky few to only carry in her belly. “I only gained weight in my belly and hardly on any other part of my body. My belly was also unusually tiny. In fact, at my baby shower, my friends and family had to do a double take, just to make sure I was really carrying. Over the nine months of my pregnancy, I gained a healthy weight of nine kilos. I am glad that my routine and healthy habits helped me stay fit,” she says.

As a way to stay active, Priya enrolled in some pregnancy fitness classes, and thoroughly enjoyed every moment there. “I joined Antenatal Yoga and fitness class which by far was the best thing I would say about my pregnancy. It was called Zaazen Wellness and is a part of Phoenix Hospital itself. The classes taught me that pregnancy is not only about resting and pigging out. It’s also important to stay active and fit, for the health and well-being of you and your baby. I was always bursting with energy,” she says.

For Priya, the nine months she carried Taarini was perhaps one of the most wonderful experiences for her. She was healthy, happy and couldn’t ask for more. When it was time for Taarini to be born, Priya figured childbirth would also be as smooth as her pregnancy. Well, life is funny and she was in for a surprise.

“I was in my 41st week of pregnancy with no signs of going into labour. I figured that after completing the full term, Taarini would be ready to greet us. When I passed my due date, my family began to get anxious and we opted to induce labour. I was in active labour for three days but still wasn’t dilating enough. We even burst the water bag, but Taarini just wasn’t ready to come out. At the end of the third day we took a call to opt for a C-section because we didn’t want to distress the baby. So at 11 p.m that night, I was wheeled into the delivery room, and 20 minutes later, we welcome our beautiful baby girl,” she recalls.

Web developer turned entrepreneur, Shreya Okhde, talks family life, a thriving business and being mum to two wonderful kids

BY CHARLENE FLANAGAN
PHOTOGRAPHS BY PREKSHA CHHAJER
MAKE-UP BY VANTAKULA NAIDU
HAIR BY MR PAVAN

AMERICAN actress Loretta Young had once famously said, “Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” And for Shreya Okhde and her husband, Shashank, no truer words have been spoken.

WEDDING BELLS
Like with every traditional Indian household, Shreya’s parents wanted their baby girl to settle down the old fashion way—through an arranged marriage set up. As fate would have it, Shashank’s family were of the same mindset, and both families took to matrimonial sites to look for prospective partners for their children. “That’s how Shashank and I met,” says Shreya. “He came to my home in Goa to meet me, for the first time in November 2009. In our initial meeting, we were both equally impressed with the each other and instinctively knew that we’d be supportive of each other in all our life’s pursuits,” she adds.

Their second meeting a month later saw both families, along with immediate relatives, gather to bestow their blessing on the relationship. “Ours was a brief courtship. We were engaged in January 2010 and by May that same year, we began our married life. We had a very traditional ceremony in Goa and a week after that, we moved to Hyderabad where we’ve lived ever since,” she says.

THE FAMILY WAY
Despite their brief courtship, the happy couple couldn’t be a better match for each other, and realised that they were perfectly paired when they discussed their family and expectations from their union. “We both talked about our families and how they’ve infl uenced our lives some way or the other. This was when we knew that we were in complete sync when it came to having kids. We both wanted two cute chubby babies,” she says emphatically.

While their ideas and beliefs certainly did line up perfectly, they didn’t want to begin their family immediately, and decided to wait two years before trying for a baby. “The timing was perfect because after our wedding, I quit my IT job and moved to Hyderabad. In fact, a month after the move, Shashank was sent to the US for a project, and I went along with him. Life couldn’t have been better. The trip was like an extended honeymoon. We were away from family and friends. It was just us two. From setting up an apartment, to exploring a new country, we did everything ourselves and that was the best time for us to get to know each other. We explored new places, new cuisines, did adventures together and bonded extremely well during our four monthlong stay.”

On their return, Shreya didn’t want to sit at home, and so she decided to look for a job in Hyderabad. That’s when she took up the post of an IT teacher and and international co-ordinator at Hyderabad’s prestigious Oakridge International School. Life continued for the couple and before long, they were celebrating their second anniversary.

THE BABY MOON
“After we celebrated our second year of marriage, Shashank and I felt like we were ready to introduce a new member to our family, and we began trying for a baby. But a few months into trying, he was sent back to the US for a project that would most likely last longer than two months,” recalls Shreya. Since she was on vacation, she decided to make a trip to Delhi for some quality time with her in-laws. However, while in Delhi, Shreya suspected that she might be pregnant, and confi ded in her mum-in-law and suggested they visit a gynaecologist. “My mum-in-law was esctatic and told me to keep this to myself till after the checkup. The next day, she took me to a wellknown ob-gyn, Dr Anuradha Kapur, who also happened to be her friend, where the doctor confi rmed that I was indeed pregnant,” says Shreya.

Shreya and her mum-in-law returned home with a big box of sweets and couldn’t wait to break the news to the entire family. “While everyone was overjoyed with the announcement, the person’s whose reaction has been etched in my memory is that of Shashank’s grandfather, who was then, 90 years old! He told me I had given him another reason to stay fit and healthy ” While the family shared in the happy news, Shreya couldn’t help but miss her husband who was miles away when she learned about her pregnancy. “While I had the love and support of our entire family, I missed my husband terribly. I did Skype with him that night to break the good news to him but I longed for him to be by my side,” she recalls. A week after learning about her pregnancy, Shreya returned to Hyderabad and resumed school. While school kept her busy during the day, Shreya couldn’t fight the loneliness at home. Her parents noticed she was lonesome and that’s when her mother decided to come spend time with her. “I guess they were worried I’d fall sick. Since I was alone, I had to do everything myself, and the first trimester can be crucial so my mum came to be with me. It was definitely wonderful to have her care for me. I was pampered and it was wonderful. She made sure I incorporated a healthy and a balaned diet, and ate all my meals on time,” she says.

During her first trimester, she did experience an aversion to certain vegetables but her mother found interesting ways to make sure she got all the nourishment she needed. Finally, Shashank returned home by the end of November, and mum made her way back home. “I knew I would miss my mother, especially during this time, but I was very glad to have Shashank by my side,” she says. “He was a great help during my pregnancy. He’d wake up early to ensure I ate a healthy breakfast that included loads of fruit, and made sure I took my prenatals regularly. He’d even drive me to work each morning,” she says, smiling.

And while she experienced a normal, healthy pregnancy, she did have the occasional mood swing and food aversions. “I became a completely different person for a little while. I’d just want to lie down and do nothing. I even hated it when Shashank worked. I expected him to sit by my side and do nothing as well. Fortunately, by the end of my second trimester, I felt like my old self again.”

Shreya worked till the sixth month of her pregnancy, something that she enjoyed because it kept her active. “My job required me to stand for long hours delivering lectures, climb three floors multiple times a day, travel in the schoo
bus and just generally be up and about. It compensated for the delicious food I’d keep eating because my friends and colleagues would prepare them specially for me,” she says.

HELLO WORLD
In the eight month of her pregnancy, Shreya made her way home to Goa, for the perfect last few days before her bundle of joy arrived. Since she wasn’t working, her mother ensured she kept active. “My mom kept asking me to do simple household jobs all day and she would even accompany me during my evening walk. I managed to spend some great quality time with my parents.” It was while in Goa that Sheray’s friends and family surprised her with a baby shower. “My mum-in-law flew in from Delhi and Shashank’s mausi flew in from Mumbai, and we had a very traditional godh bharai. It was wonderful!” Her due date was still a little time away, but on a routine check-up before the birth, Shreya was in for a surprise. “The due date given to me was June 21, 2013 but when I went in for a routine examination on the 10th, I was told that my water had broken and my cervix was dialated. I was instructed to go home, have something to eat to keep my strength up and to return later that evening.” Fortunately for Shreya, Shashank had come to visit, and the soon-to-be-parents and grandparents packed a bag and headed for the hospital. The family had dinner at the hospital and patiently waited for their baby to arrive.

Shreya first began feeling mild contractions at 12.30 a.m. But they only began full swing post 5 a.m the morningof the 11th. “I was slowly starting to panic as only the on-call doctor was available, and I refused to go through with the delivery without my doctor present. I was asked to lie down and the contractions were progressively getting worse. Three hours in, I couldn’t take it anymore. While I wanted the pain to end, at the same time I was terrifi ed of delivery and begged my mother to take me home. Thinking back at that moment, it makes me laugh,” says Shreya.

Finally, at 8.48 a.m. Shreya gave birth to a healthy baby boy, 10 days before her due date. “I felt like a grown-up when the doctor placed him in my arms. I didn’t realise it but I had been sobbing. It was certainly an extremely emotional moment for me. I had become a mother.”

Two days after her delivery, Shreya was discharged and she could take her son home. It was only when she got back to her parents’ home that she realised just how much life had changed. “I couldn’t sit back lavishly on the sofa and browse the channels while munching on hot pakodas and sipping hot cuppa tea like what I always did since childhood when it rained. I was responsible for another life. So quickly changed, freshened up and headed to feed the baby, followed by changing the diaper, followed by putting him to sleep, followed by asking everyone to be quiet, followed by guarding his sleep, followed by quickly having my meal, followed by feeding him again. It was an unending routine,” she recalls. Fortunately, the two months after delivery helped her learn how to properly care for her son Shaunak, and that’s something she’ll always be grateful for.

However, the real struggle began after her return to Hyderabad. While every new mother experiences a few hurdles along the way, Shreya definitely missed her mother as she found it exceedingly difficult to manage while Shashank was away at work. “I barely found the time to eat and keep my strength up because there wasn’t really a schedule he’d follow. I even remember crying to  Shashank on the phone asking him to come home from work, just so I could have something to eat!” Shreya continues, “As time passed,   got the hang of things but one problem seems to keep growing, and that was my body weight. I was hungry all the time, and was even advised by my doctor to begin some simple home exercises. I just couldn’t find the time!”

Fortunately, after Shaunak turned eight months old and began sleeping for six to seven hours at a stretch, that Shreya did manage to find some time for herself, and shed off 14 kilos of her pregnancy weight. Soon, everything was back to normal and the family of three found their stride.

Playback singer and former B4U VJ, Khushboo Grewal’s life changed when her little superstar, Shanaya, was born

BY CHARLENE FLANAGAN
SHOOT CO-ORDINATION BY SANIA DHIRWANI
PHOTOGRAPHS BY AKSHAY KULKARNI
HAIR & MAKE-UP BY SACHIN GATHE

HAILING from a small town, Khushboo never imagined that one day she’d move to Mumbai to try and break into showbiz. Born and raised in the beautiful city of Chandigarh, she comes from a long line of successful doctors; her parents even ran a thriving private nursing home. “I sometimes think of myself as the black sheep of my family. My mother is a gynaecologist, my father an anaesthetist, my sister is a dentist, sister-in-law a clinical psychologist, and brother-in-law an orthopaedic surgeon. Every member of my family is connected to medicine,” she says. However, with a rather happy-go-lucky mindset, Khushboo never felt forced to follow in their footsteps.

She attributes her determination and drive to her upbringing. Her mother was a workaholic with very strong work ethics, and Khushboo and her sister were taught to be self-sufficient, no matter what the situation. If that’s not all, they were given liberties many young girls weren’t afforded. “We could wear sleeveless clothes if we wanted to. We were never questioned if we were friends with boys. We were raised to be independent thinkers and encouraged to make our own decisions, and deal with their subsequent consequences, if we made mistakes. We were taught to take responsibility for our actions,” she says. It’s no surprise, then, that Khushboo met her husband, and the love of her life, Bipin Grewal, at the age of 18. A hardcore business man with various ventures in Delhi and Chandigarh, Bipin decided to leave it all behind, and support Khushboo when she decided to pursue a career in the entertainment business. “If, after my parents, there is anyone who could support me and push me to do my best, it’s Bipin. He gave up everything so that I could pursue my dreams. From the very beginning, he has encouraged me to follow my heart because he’s never wanted me to live with any regrets, and I know, even after all these years, that I couldn’t find a better partner,” she admits, affectionately.

AWAY WE GO
After tying the knot, Khushboo and Bipin decided to leave the comfort of their life in Chandigarh, and move to the big city. Khushboo began finding work in showbiz, and Bipin took up a job which paid him a rather modest salary. After nine years of hard work, and a blissful marriage, Khushboo decided to try her hand at singing. Of course, the real reason was because she wanted to start a family, and working in the film industry meant long, gruelling hours. That’s not something she wanted to put her family through. She was turing 30 and she felt emotionally ready to have a baby. However, Bipin was a little sceptical because he didn’t think they were fi nancially stable, didn’t have a house of their own yet, and realised that it was a big responsibility, one that would alter their lives forever.

After discussing their plans with family and friends, they were overwhelmed with the encouragement and support, and that’s when Bipin realised he was ready to be a father. “It was the most amazing thing to hear, that we would be starting a new chapter in our lives,” recalls Khushboo, tearfully. “The beauty of it was that Bipin was as eager to start a family with me, and I didn’t need to convince him. Bipin and I have always had an open and honest relationship, and we’ve always communicated with each other. Having a baby means sharing an equal responsibility in the upbringing of a baby, and I believe it’s never okay to have to try and force someone, especially when they’re not ready,” she says.

Khushboo and Bipin announced they were pregnant immediately after the release of her first single, Pink Lips. The news came as a bit of a surprise to most people, considering her career was only  just taking off. However, nothing could bring the happy couple down. “I think God had his own plans for us. Everyone told us that it would take some time, after we began planning for a baby, to see any results. Naturally, we were pleasantly surprised when we conceived so quickly,” Khushboo says, smiling.

Durba Ghosh talks about how age plays a critical role when it comes to having a baby, the highs and lows of being a mother and how her son Aurko, has managed to fill their lives with brightness

BY SANIA DHIRWANI
PHOTOGRAPHS BY AKSHAY KULKARNI
HAIR & MAKE-UP BY SACHIN GATHE

FOR 38-year-old Durba, a true Bengali, settling down in the chaotic city of Mumbai was something she never thought she’d do. Of course, life doesn’t always go as planned, and Durba found herself making a home in Mumbai after she met her husband Rabin through an arranged marriage set-up. “I’m from Kolkata and I’ve always found Mumbai to have a rather ‘professional’ approach to everything. That’s definitely not a good thing. When I compare Mumbai to Kolkata, I see the differences. People in Kolkata are approachable, friendly and welcoming. In Mumbai, people barely have time for themselves, let alone for anybody else,” she says. However, after living in this city for over eight years, Durba has come to love the differences, and appreciates Mumbai for what it is.

WHAT TO EXPECT
After their marriage, Rabin and Durba decided to wait a while before starting a family. They wanted to spend quality time together, strengthen their relationship, get to know each other and concentrate on their careers before introducing a new member to their family. After three years of married life, the couple began planning for a baby. “My husband was apprehensive in the start and would skedaddle when anything to do with ‘responsibility’ would come on his shoulders. He soon came around though,” she says. Durba further adds, “We knew our age would be a major hiccup when it came to successfully getting pregnant, but we were already hard-pressed for time. If that’s not all, stress and everyday life served as another block when it came to trying to conceive.” Naturally, this meant a considerable amount of time passed before they managed to get pregnant. Durba admits, “We spent close to five years trying to have a baby. Rabin and I even considered adoption if our efforts didn’t prove successful.” However, their prayers were answered and Durba soon found out she was pregnant.

The couple did consult a number of fertility experts and doctors, just to ascertain that nothing was physically or medically wrong with them. During one of their visits, the couple found out that Durba had the initial signs of PCOS, but they were assured it wouldn’t affect the pregnancy. Problems would arise only because of a stressful lifestyle. However, none of that mattered when the couple found out they were expecting. “In one of the home-pregnancy tests I took one day, I couldn’t believe it when the strip turned pink. Rabin had gone for his morning walk when I called out to him in excitement. He immediately rushed back thinking there was an emergency. But after hearing the good news, I saw just how excited he was,” says Durba, with the same glow as she recalled that moment. Rabin’s parents were elated when they were given the good news, while the rest of their family couldn’t wait to welcome their newest member.

PREGNANCY WOES
However, all was not hunky-dory. All the initial excitement slowly started fading when the pregnancy blues began settling in. The first trimester is usually the hardest, and for Durba, that proved true. “I did not have an easy pregnancy. I was bleeding profusely in the first trimester and the doctors could not detect a particular reason for it. Because of the lack of answers, I was prescribed complete bed rest and I even had to  take Gestone, progesterone injections, on a daily basis for the next three months, to help maintain my pregnancy,” says Durba. The bleeding eventually ceased and Durba was able to resume work, which she continued till it was time to have Aurko.

However, her pregnancy-related problems didn’t stop at bleeding. Durba also developed rashes on her body. According to research, rashes occur in a few cases, when the body identifies the growing foetus as a foreign object. If that’s not all, Durba also suffered from gestational diabetes. “Due to several gastric attacks, I would throw up a number of times in matter of hours. On such occasions I would become too weak to move. But, with time, this also passed,” says Durba, recalling her pregnancy. It was then that Durba found solace in her doctors Dr Duru Shah and Dr Sabah from Gynaecworld, Kemps Corner. “Contrary to what you read or see in the movies, I didn’t have any urge for a particular kind of food, least of all anything sour. I relied on home-cooked nutritious meals and kept a thorough check on my diet,” she says. She relied on the BabyCentre pregnancy app for additional advice and is thankful for the exhaustive information it provided her. During her difficult pregnancy, the couple didn’t give up, and eventually, everything worked out well for them.

GET, SET, GO!
Before D-Day arrived, Durba was showered with blessings from near and dear ones. She received not one, but three baby showers. “It was a delight to watch everyone so excited for the baby to arrive. My fi rst baby shower thrown by our friends was a fun pirate-themed party where our friends’ kids blessed the baby. The second one was a traditional Bengali ritual and many of our family members attended the function. The third one was organised by Rabin’s cousin. I felt special and was happy to see that the baby received so many  blessings,” reminisces Durba.

It was during her 37th week of pregnancy that Durba was wheeled into the Operation Theatre for an elective C-section. The doctors explained that due to her gestational diabetes, if they waited to have Aurko at full-term, his weight would increase, and that could lead to complications. Fortunately, Durba didn’t have a prolonged labour, and within half and hour, she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. However, the baby was diagnosed with low blood sugar as a result of the medicines Durba had taken during her pregnancy and hence was kept under observation in the NICU for a day. “Rabin paid a visit to the NICU every few hours and he would come back teary-eyed. Seeing the babies fitted with drips broke his heart, but it made us incredibly grateful for a healthy child,” says Durba, with immense gratitude. After bringing their baby home from the hospital, they settled on the name Aurko, which means Sun. “It was surprising but my husband was a little disappointed when I gave birth to a boy. He was confident that it would be a girl, and for that reason, we never discussed any boy names. We’d always argue over names for a girl,” Durba grins.